Anonymous

Until now I did not know that I was affected by my mothers drinking while growing up, but for some reason the other day I read something that struck a nerve. It was about the difficulties that Adult Children of Alcoholics have in everyday life and the distinct traits that they have. I was shocked to see myself in so many of them. A few really hit home, especially the one about having difficulties forming close relationships with people.

Until recently I never let anyone get close to me. I held everyone at arms length not letting anyone in. I had become resigned to the fact that I would never amount to anything so I started living my life that way.

I had numerous sexual partners and attached myself to men who I knew would not commit to me that way I didn't have to share my feelings or hopes and dreams with them because I did not believe that I had any and I was not used to even considering them. I became an expert at hiding my life from those around me.

No one at high school knew that my mother was an alcoholic or that my father was a workaholic who I believe now wanted my mother to drink so he could come and go as he pleased. My best friend even to this day does not know that my mother is an alcoholic and she may never know.

I have also been stealing from an early age. I started in 7th grade and I guess it took my mind off of my troubles for a while. I am not really even sure of why I do it. It is not something that I plan to do I just do it!! I have even stolen from my bosses at work and until recently did not even care!!!

I know now that I need help because I see myself getting more and more out of control and even though my mother has been sober for 6 months!!! I know that the issues I carry from 30 years of coping with an alcoholic mother and an absent father have scarred me in a way that I cannot even comprehend. I do not want to live my life lying and stealing any longer I want a normal life, if there is such a thing, and I believe that I am headed in the right direction. I am so glad that there is help for people like me and I plan to take full advantage of it!!!!!