Guide to Expressing Feelings
There is a distinct
difference between feelings and thoughts. Below
is a list of "feeling" words.
Typically, Adult Children are unfamiliar with
words that describe feelings. In dysfunctional
families feelings are not allowed. As children
we learned don't talk, don't trust, and don't
feel, so feeling, trusting and talking become
the healing process for us. We allow ACA
meetings to come from our feelings rather than
from our control because alcoholism and
codependency are diseases of denial and control.
My Feelings Are
Worth My Attention
Today I have a choice in how to
deal with my feelings. My emotions
are visitors that stay forever
unless I talk them out or work them
out. Otherwise, I will inevitably
act them out. When I suppress my
feelings, they often show up in the
form of phobias, compulsions or
physical ailments.
Through the day, I will pay
attention to how my body responds to
feelings. If my throat is tight,
perhaps I am angry. If my chest is
heavy, perhaps I am sad. My body can
give me much information if I don't
disconnect from my physiological
responses. If I have alienated
myself from my emotions, today is
the day I will welcome them and
allow them to pass.
I realize now that my feelings
are interrelated; when I can deny my
sadness or pain, I can just as
easily deny my joy and pleasure.
When I unconsciously act out
repressed emotions, I become out of
touch with my own life. Today I will
remember that from my feelings
blossoms vulnerability, sensitivity,
and healing.
Source: Daily Affirmations
For Adult Children of
Alcoholics, Rokelle Lerner,
Health Communications, 1985.
p.361.
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Guidelines For Expressing Feelings:
-
Expressing feelings begins with "I..."
keeping the focus on me.
-
Formula: "I feel ____ (adjective
follows: happy, sad, embarrassed, elated,
etc.) about..."
-
Feelings are neither right nor wrong,
good nor bad, they just are.
-
Saying, "I feel THAT...," is NOT
expressing a feeling.
-
If I can substitute "I think" for "I
feel," then I am expressing a thought.
Feeling
Words |
angry
enraged
loved
exhausted
happy
sorry
generous
heavenly
sympathetic
grief stricken
afraid
bewildered
refreshed
clumsy
immature
supernatural
used
stupid
dull
understanding
inspired
discouraged
humble
frigid
abused
pensive
blah
romantic
taut
foolish
low
edgy
giddy
unglued
elated
pooped
groovy
privileged
distant
submissive
quiet
cooperative
uncertain
seductive
safe
panicky
confident
merry
rejected
paralyzed
stretched
affectionate
proud
enthusiastic
burdened
tearful
confused
important
bored
sexual
dishonest
sweaty
excited
spineless
belligerent
defiant
tickled-to-death
bugged
magnanimous
ugly
heroic
virile
wimpy
hopeless
deferential
bothered
trapped
miserable
apprehensive
satisfied
seething
blocked
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irritated
frustrated
loving
lively
joyful
sorrowful
grateful
humiliated
relaxed
comfortable
scared
frisky
repressed
awkward
infantile
hot
glad
bright
explosive
forgiving
adequate
encouraged
cool
warm
sunshiny
powerless
bubbly
carefree
grumpy
comforted
icky
zingy
timid
disorganized
airy
jealous
frightened
warm-hearted
close
dependent
evasive
contemptuous
aggressive
repulsive
fearful
grief-stricken
tolerant
down-in-the-dumps
energetic
shut-out
bushed
empathetic
alarmed
trusting
weepy
resentful
respected
impatient
frustrated
silly
honest
dead-eyed
breathless
terrified
bellicose
disgusted
depressed
dutiful
funny
peeved
dreamy
exuberant
ebullient
tense
vacant
mixed-up
conflicted
dismayed
worried
content
furious
puzzled
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annoyed
anxious
tired
vigorous
sad
greedy
thankful
compassionate
at ease
uneasy
confused
relieved
hopeful
aware
unnatural
torrid
dumb
brilliant
considerate
forgiven
inadequate
courageous
cold
uncomfortable
ecstatic
powerful
tender
floating
jolly
high
cuddly
playful
uptight
lost
disappointed
delighted
smiley
quivery
dominant
talkative
embarrassed
assertive
self-assured
open
guilty
calm
rejuvenated
starry-eyed
immobilized
whiny
strong
lonely
threatened
beaten
hurt
envious
helpless
played-out
caring
two-faced
nauseated
itchy
gutless
insecure
determined
surprised
sharp
stagnated
hilarious
hesitant
committed
wishy-washy
horrified
independent
appealing
disturbed
petrified
disappointed
overjoyed
bitter
mad
pissed
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