A meeting was held at the 24th Street
Club House in memory of Dr. Bob. A recording of Dr. Bob's last talk
was played and a portrait of Dr. Bob was unveiled.
Bill W. then addressed the meeting:
Dr. Bob's recorded voice has come down to us across the air since he
died in 1950. Some may say that his actual voice is stilled forever,
but you and I know that is not so and that his spirit will be with
us so long as this well loved society of ours endures.
Now, I happen to be one who believes that people never die, that on
beyond death there is another life and it could be that Dr. Bob is
looking down upon us now, seeing us, hearing what we say and feel
and think and have done in this meeting. I know his heart will be
glad.
Dr Bob was a chap who was modestly and singularly against taking any
personal acclaim or honor but surely now that he is no longer with
us he can't mind, I don’t believe and for him I wish to thank
everyone here who has made this occasion possible and the unveiling
possible, with all the work and love that that has entailed.
Again, I wish to thank each and everyone.
In A.A. we always deal in personalities, really, this thing is
transmitted from one to another and it isn't so much what we read
about it that counts, it's what we uniquely know about of ourselves
and those just around us who have us and who we would help.
Therefore, I take it that you folks would like it better than
anything else if I just spun a few yarns about Dr. Bob and that very
early part of A.A. which we so often call the period of flying
blind.
Of course you'll remember my little story about how a friend comes
to me with the idea of getting more honest, more tolerant, making
amends, helping others without demand for reward, praying as best I
knew how and that was my friend Ebby.
As you heard Dr. Bob say, he had heard those things too from the
same source, ft us with a rich heritage of both what and what not to
do. Anyway, a friend comes to me and I go to other alcoholics and
try to make them my friends and some did become my friends but as
you heard Dr. Bob say, not a darn one got sober.
Then came that little man that we who live in this area saw so much,
him with kind of blue eyes and the white hair, Doc Silkworth. You'll
remember that Doc said to me, "look Bill, you're preaching at these
people too much. You've got the cart before the horse. This ‘white
flash’ experience of yours scares these drunks to death. Why don’t
you put the fear of God into them first. You're always talking about
James and the Varieties of Religious Experience and how you have to
deflate people before they can know God, how they must have
humility. So, why don’t you use the tools that we've really got
here, why don’t you use the tool of the medical hopelessness of
alcoholism for practically all those involved. Why don’t you talk to
the drunk about that allergy they've got and that obsession that
makes them keep on drinking and guarantees that they will die. Maybe
when you punch it into them hard it will deflate them enough so that
they will find what you found."
So, another indispensable ingredient was added to
what is now this successful synthesis and that was just about the
time I set out for Akron on a business trip. It had been suggested
by the family that it was about time that I went back to work.
I went out there on this venture which as Dr. Bob said, "fortunately
fell through."
You heard him tell about the story in the hotel after I had taken a
good beating and I was tempted to drink and needed to look up
another alcoholic, not this time to save him but to save myself, for
I had found that working with others had a vast bearing on my own
sobriety.
Then, how we were brought together by a girl who was the last person
on a long list of people I'd been referred to. The only one who had
time enough and who cared enough and that was a girl in Akron,
herself no alcoholic, her name was Henrietta Seiberling.
She invited me out there and she became interested at once. She
called the Smiths and we learned Smithy had just come home with a
potted plant for dear old Annie and he put it on the dining room
table but as Annie said that just then he was on the floor and they
couldn't come over at that minute.
You'll remember the next day how he put in an appearance. Haggard,
worn, not wishing to stay and how then we talked for hours. Now I
have often heard Dr. Bob say and I thought he said it on the
recording that "it was not so much my spirituality that affected
him," he was a student of those things and I
certainly
know that he was never affected by any superior morality on my part.
So, what did affect him? Well, it was this ammunition that dear old
Doc Silkworth had given me, the allergy plus the obsession. The God
of science declaring that the malady for most of us is hopeless so
far as our personal power is concerned.
As Dr. Bob put it in his story in the book "here came the first man
into my life who seemed to know what this thing alcoholism was all
about."
Well, if it wasn't the dose of spirituality I poured into Dr. Bob,
it was that dose of indispensable medicine to this movement, the
dose of hopelessness so far as one doing this alone is concerned.
The bottle of medicine that Dr. Silkworth had given me that I poured
down the old grizzly bear's throat. That's what I used to call him.
Well, he gagged on it a little, got drunk once more and that was the
end. Then he and I set out looking for drunks, we had to look some
up. There is a little remembered part of the story. The story
usually goes that we immediately called up the local city hospital
and asked the nurse for a case but that isn't quite true.
There was a preacher who lived down the street and he was beset at
the time by a drunk and his name was Eddie and we talked to Eddie
and it turned out that Eddie was not only a drunk but something
which in that high-faluting language we now call a manic depressive,
not very manic either, mostly depressed. Eddie was married with two
or three kids, worked down at Goodrich Company and his depression
caused him to drink and the only thing that would stop the
depression was apparently baking soda.
When he got a sour stomach, he got depressed so he was not only
drinking alcohol but we estimated that in the past few years he had
taken a ton of baking soda. Well, we tried for a while, of course,
we thought we had to be good Samaritans so we got up some dough to
try to keep the family going, we got Eddie back on the job but Eddie
kept right on with alcohol and baking soda both.
Finally, Dr. Bob and Annie took Eddie along with me into their
house, a pattern which my dear Lois followed out to the nth degree
later and we tried to treat Eddie and my mind goes back so vividly
to that evening when Eddie really blew his top. I don’t know whether
it was the manic side or on the depressive side but boy did he blow
it and Annie and I were sitting out at the kitchen table and Eddie
seized the butcher knife and was about to do us in when Annie said
very quietly "well Eddie, I don’t think your going to do this." And
he didn't.
Thereafter, Eddie was in a State asylum for a period I should think
of going on a dozen or more years but believe it or not he showed up
at the funeral of Dr. Bob in the fall of 1950 as sober as a judge
and he had been that way for three years. So even that obscure
little talk about Eddie made the grade.
So then Dr. Bob and I talked to the man on the bed, Bill Dotson, who
some of you have heard, A.A. number three. Here was another man who
said he couldn't get well, his case was too tough, much tougher than
ours besides he knew all about religion.
Well, here it was, one drunk talking with another, in fact, two
drunks talking to one. The very next day the man on the bed got out
of his bed and he picked it up and walked and he has stayed up ever
since. A.A. number three, the man on the bed.
So the spark that was to become Alcoholics Anonymous was struck. I
came back to New York after having taken away a great deal from
Akron. I never can forget those mornings and those nights at the
Smiths. I can never forget Annie reading to us and the two or three
drunks who were hanging on, out of the bible.
I couldn't possibly say how many times we read Corinthians on love,
how many times we read the entire book of James with loving emphasis
on that line "Faith without works is dead." It did make a very deep
impression on me, so from the very beginning there was reciprocity,
everybody was teacher and everybody was pupil and nobody need look
up or down to the other because as Jack Alexander put it years later
"we are all brothers and sisters under the skin."
A group started in New York, but let's turn back to Akron. Smithy,
unlike me and the man on the bed was bothered very badly by a
temptation to drink. Smithy was one of these continuous drinkers. He
wasn't what you would call one of these panty waist periodics.
He guzzled all the time and apparently by the time he got to be
sixty odd which was when he got A.A., he was so soaked in rum that
he just had a terrible physical urge to drink.
Long after he told me that he had that urge for something like six
or seven years and that it was constant and that his basic release
from it was in doing what we now call the twelfth step.
So Smithy, greatly out of love and partly by being driven began to
frantically work on those cases, first in City Hospital in Akron and
then as they got tired of drunks in the place, finally over at St.
Thomas where there is now a plaque which bears an inscription
dedicated to all those who labored there in our pioneering time and
describing St. Thomas in Akron as the first religious institution
ever to open it's doors to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Ah, how much of drama, how much of struggle, how much of misery, how
much of joy lies in the era before the plaque was put there. No one
can say. There was a sister in the hospital, a veritable saint if
you ever saw one. Our beloved Sister Ignatia. Dr. Bob mentioned her.
He told how she would deny beds to people with broken legs in order
to stick drunks in them. She loved drunks. She was a sort of female
Silkworth, if you know what I mean.
So finally a ward was provided and you remember that Dr. Bob was an
M.D. and a mighty good one. Now you know that quite within the A.A.
Tradition Dr. Bob might have charged all those drunks who went
through that place for his medical services. He treated 5,000 drunks
medically and never charged a dime, even in that long period when he
was very poor. For unlike most of us to whom it is a credit to
belong to Alcoholics Anonymous, it was no credit to a surgeon at
that time. "It was lovely that the old boy got sober" his patients
said, "but how the hell do I know he'll be sober when he cuts me up
at nine o'clock in the morning."
And so that frantic effort went on out there and it went on here and
we got back and forth a little bit between Akron and New York. You
haven't any conception these days of how much failure we had. How
you had to cull over hundreds of these drunks to get a handful to
take the bait. Yes, the discouragement's were very great but some
did stay sober and some very tough ones at that.
The next great memory I have is that of a day I shared with him in
his living room in the fall of 1937. I, you remember had sobered up
in late 1934 and Bob in June 1935. Well, we began to count noses, we
asked ourselves "How many were dry and for how long," Not how many
failures, how many successes were there in Akron, New York and the
trickle to Cleveland and in the other little trickles to
Philadelphia and Washington. How much time elapsed on how many
cases?
We added up the score and I guess we had maybe forty folks sober and
with real time elapsed. For the first time Dr. Bob and I knew that
God had made a great gift to us children of the night and that the
long procession coming down through the ages need no longer all go
over into the left hand path and plunge over the cliff.
We knew that something great had come into the world. Then it was a
question of how we would spread this and that was answered by the
publication of the book and the opening of the office here.
It was spread by our great friends who rallied about us. There were
friends in medicine, friends in religion, friends in the press and
just plain but great friends. They all came to our aid and spread
the good news.
Meanwhile drunks from all over Ohio, all over the Middle West
flocked into the Akron hospital where Dr. Smith and Sister Ignatia
ministered to them. And I have no doubt that two out of three of
those drunks are sober, well and happy today.
So that achievement certainly entitles Dr. Bob to be named as the
prince of all twelve steppers.
That was the end of the flying blind period, next we needed to
discover whether we could hold together as groups. We had learned
that we might survive as individuals but could this movement hold
together and grow. On a thousand anvils and after a million
heartbreaks the tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous was also forged
out of our experience and what had been a tiny chip, launched in the
flying blind time on the sea of alcoholism now became a mighty
armada spreading over the world, touching foreign beach heads.
Of all that, this meeting here in this historic place in
commemoration of Dr. Bob is a great and moving symbol. I know that
he looks down upon us. I know that he smiles and we know that he is
glad. |